
Coming Home: Day 30— my body is more than a crime scene
2008)

Coming Home: Day 30— my body is more than a crime scene
2008)
Coming Home: Day 23— dissociating (to) orgasm
This morning, as I settled in under the water, I was thinking about dissociation and masturbation (how’s that for meta?) — the truth is, I don’t always fantasize about sex when I’m masturbating; in fact, when I first get started, I think about almost anything but sex: plans for the day, how sweet it was to play w Sophie out in the park, what I new to add to the shopping list, what I’m going to write here. After learning to fully dissociate while also experiencing extreme clitoral stimulation (as with a vibrator), I know how to both feel the pound of the water against me and keep it at a distance — it’s quite possible for me to have a vibrator on my clit for an hour or more and not be any closer to actually coming than when I started, if I don’t really pay attention. I have to focus, as with a kind of meditation, if I want to be in the rise to orgasm.